Several of you readers- people I have never met, have messaged me to check on me. I still can not comprehend that some of you across the world, follow me and read my blog, and care enough to notice my absence from social media. Y’all deserve an update, this blog, you reading this, have helped me get to this point. But this journey is far from over.
I’ve been silent for a while. I have been going back and forth on trying to decide if I was ready to share what is going on with y’all. But I realized, every time I have ever shared something with y’all I haven’t had to think about it- I just knew I needed to. So while I am choosing to remain vague, I did need to let y’all know I’m still alive.
Am I ready to dive into the details? Absolutely not yet. But I know I am meant to share my story and my experiences with you all. Know that when I feel I’m ready, I will.
I’m still going to attempt to blog throughout dealing with this. But I’m choosing to use this as a therapeutic outlet to distract, take my mind off things and remind me of the good. So there will probably be a break in the medical talk and transplant journey blog posts for a while. I’m going to write about my life, things that make me happy. I will write blog posts about this experience as I go through it. But will not post them until I’m at a place where it’s healthy for me to do so.
Going through transplant is a trauma. One that I thought I was fine with until I had a chance to sit and simmer in everything I went through. It’s an adjustment for me, for my donor’s family. It’s two different struggles that get at me. Know that I have the best support system anyone could ever ask for. With them supporting me, and a therapist who knows what she is doing- I can get through the worst of this.
While I wanted to update y’all, I mainly wanted to tell y’all that whatever you are going through, if you are overwhelmed, grieving, depressed, anxious, or simply confused with life— I encourage you to find a good counselor. Do your research. Get recommendations. If you need help finding one, message me. I will help you find one in your area that has the tools and knowledge to help you help yourself. Counselors don’t wave a magic wand and fix everything- you have to do the actual work but they are truly one of the best people you can have in your support system. Don’t be scared to go, if you are let me know, I’ll drive you to your appointment and hold your hand before you go in. You don’t have to suffer. I knew I did not have the knowledge, tools, or coping skills to tackle everything going on. So I asked for help. Don’t be afraid to do that. You deserve to have a good, happy, and healthy life.
Also, If you are reading this please don’t forget to pray, send all your good energy and warm thoughts to my donor’s family. They went through a trauma as well. I will never forget the gift they gave me during the worst time in their life. I am forever thankful, and I will never take this gift of life for granted.
Ali
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